I love (good) surprises, and who doesn't? Like the times when you find a twenty dollar bill in a pair of jeans you haven't worn in months. I once found two hundred dollars that I didn't remember putting in my wallet; I was so happy! Then when I stopped jumping up and down in excitement I realized that, in fact, it wasn't my wallet.
Or what about when a tub of chocolate ice cream contains surprise chocolate chunks near the bottom? A delicious surprise if you aren't expecting it. That's the thing about surprises, they sneak up on you when you least expect them.
Which reminds me of an experience I had back in the fall of 2009 when I had recently moved to Colorado. It was my birthday and I knew absolutely no one in town, so after work I decided to drive to Arizona to spend my birthday with family and friends. On my way there, I called everyone to announce my visit, but it seemed they all had something better to do that evening. I didn't understand; now that I lived in a different state! And that it was my birthday! What was wrong with them? Even my family didn't seem to care.
I made it to Sedona late at night. I was tired and teary-eyed disappointed. Even the door to my old apartment gave me a hard time. My roommate had decided to double lock the door that day, knowing quite well the second lock always got stuck. Now I was also angry. Little did I know that all the struggle to get the door open was the cue for my friends and family inside to lower the lights and hide behind couches. When I finally entered, I was received with a loud and cheerful "Happy Birthday!"
I have learned that the countless self-motivation books I've read are right about not having expectations. First, I was disappointed because I expected a birthday party, but later I was truly surprised because I didn't expect it.
Expectations are the devil. They are only sources of disappointment, anger, and anxiety. They also carry a certain amount of arrogance; no one's obligated to do anything for anyone. On the other hand, it's always pleasant to receive good surprises. Now my question is how, exactly, do I get rid of expectations?
